Just Pee On The Sidewalk

I Gotta Feeling

Damn was I in a ditch. Read the last post. Embarrassing.

Not to say I still don’t feel the same, but hell, that was a bad day.

AUSTRALIA HERE I COME!

IMA PWN YOUR BITCH ASS!

Chocolate Love

Been watching lots of movies lately… rewatching others… of course, there’s no such word, rewatching, but who gives a shit… if there’s one thing safenglish has taught me, when it comes to communication, so long as intent is delivered, the noise you make matters nuts…

But yes, movies.

They all have something in common… movies…. discard the horror genre and you get happy endings. All of them… they have to be…. happy…. endings, that is….

They’re our escape. There’s nothing in them but a reflection of our desires… a happy resolution to a string of complexities that is our lives…

We never get them though.

The happy resolution doesn’t exist… a happy hiatus maybe… but not a resolution. A resolution implies conclusion, a conclusion, of our lives at least… that means death… and given the temporal nature of the human life, that’s never something to be completely happy about…

The movies end with him getting the job he wanted…. life goes on and the job goes on to wear him.

The movies end with the bad guy dead…. life goes on to introduce other adversaries.

The movies end with him getting the girl…. life goes on with relationship issues and all.

The movies end with weddings and white and cake and fluffy happy…. life goes on with arguments, quarrels and unfortunate divorces.

Granted though, the divorces are more like white towels than real troubles.

And everyone knows this… they long for the happy endings the movies show, but really, we all know that even stories don’t really end with the endings. We’re given a conclusion to a complication but the characters, the plot, really, they could go on much further….

I know this…

But God, I am tired. I don’t want a temporary breather, I finally want something to be really happy about… I want a conclusion to the current complication…. I don’t crave death. I have too much to live for. No. I crave the death of this immediate source of pain… this tumour in my ass…. I want it removed…. the follow up chemo might be tiring…. arduous even…. but right now, i just want it removed.

Really, sometimes I disgust myself…. self-pitying…. whiny….. just the qualities I despise…. pathetic…. and the excuses just keep self-generating…..

I need an immediate intravenous transfusion of tenacity.

RIGHT ROUND

I should shoot him. He’s very much dead.

Yes my log is male. The macho male ego welled-up in my nutsac will never allow me to endow it with a female gender.

And even if he’d been a she, it’d be a very attractive one.

Very many usage of the generic pronouns.

Got abit of time with the camera today. On cielo’s past orders I gave it a name. I can’t remember the last name but it’s now Xzibit, after one of the great contemporary african american poets.

Got abit of time with the weights. Foolish seeing as I’m in teh army. Which is essentially an incubator for the sexy bodies. But yeah, that step closer to Flo-Rida.

This isn’t a post. This is a log of the day’s events. Shame on me.

Reflection Time:

I got nothing.

I have learnt that accountability and responsibility are two polar aspects of integrity.

And that while I may possess some of the former, I lack much of the latter.

Pain Pain go away
Stay away for that I pray

Pain Pain go away
Stay away for that I pray